Tag Archives: counseling

Stuck with a Roommate instead of a Marriage?

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College was a great time of learning life and broadening my world. But wow, roommates could really push me to the limit in the stress department. Learning to deal with each other’s quirks and habits, the good and the bad, was a whole different education. I know many can relate to having roommates, whether you went to college or just had another situation. Bottom line is though they have their place, once you move forward and find God’s soul mate for your life; you definitely aren’t looking for a roommate scenario. Unfortunately, many marriages are nothing more than a roommate arrangement.

In an age where marriage is being attacked and redefined it is essential that we understand how God defines marriage. In Gen 2:20-25 we have a look at the first marriage. It all takes place in a beautiful garden at the very beginning of mankind

Many marriages are nothing more than a roommate arrangement.   (tweet)

where Adam was diligent in his job, which was naming to the animals. The account reveals there was not a companion comparable for Adam amongst all the beast of the earth. I think that point alone should align many people to the fact that your pet isn’t ever suppose to take the place of who God has for you emotionally or otherwise! Therefore, God creates a woman from Adams side as he slept. In other words God custom made a wife for Adam out of his rib that would be designed to stand by his side.

In verse 24 we read the Holy Spirit’s definition of marriage from the start. He says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” God’s principle of the first was to complete a man with

When we become married the “I” becomes a “We”, and two lives become one.   (tweet)

a wife. They were to become one not two individuals co-habituating together. God knows each of our strengths and weaknesses, giving us a soul mate that will not be a clone, but one that will help us in the areas that we need help in and vice versa. Just like the famous line from the movie “Jerry McGuire” where the husband of a failing marriage comes to his senses and says, “you complete me” to his estranged wife. That statement whether you liked the movie or not is what a marriage is all about, two completely different individuals coming together to make a complete and compatible marriage so they can fulfill the purposes of God (Matt 19:6). When we become soul mates the “I” becomes a “We”, two lives become one.

The world’s view of marriage verses God’s view can be very opposite when it comes down to it. The world offers pre or post nuptial agreements as well as, when things Continue reading →

When the Chocolates Box is Empty

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o-empty-chocolate-box-facebookAs the sun comes through the kitchen window with rays of hope for another day, the wilting roses and empty boxes of chocolates are being filed away with memories of yesterday. It’s almost with the same intensity of coming off of a sugar high that the week of romance and love comes to a close. If we think that a card, some candy and maybe a dinner all by itself will carry our relationships through another year, we will probably be rudely awaken in the coming days. The sad reality in many relationships is that over the course of time things have slowly deteriorated to the point of needing a “Urgent Care” for relationships to get them going in the right direction again. And

Maybe we need to build lasting marriages instead of a day of fleeting emotionalism.   (tweet)

even worse are those couples that were swept off of their feet with only emotional infatuation and no foundational principles for a lasting relationship of any kind.

If the piles of chocolates in the stores and truckloads of flowers aren’t evidence enough. The consumer reports from previous years let us know that people are totally committed and consumed with this day of love. Could it possibly be that our strategy for a loving relationship might be wrong even though our motives are commendable. Maybe we need to build lasting marriages instead of a day of fleeting emotionalism.

Our marriages and different relationships can be like the mountain paths I grew up hiking. Many of them would cut through different terrain and gradually climb up towards their destination. Yet, many times you would come across windfalls, which

God must be intertwined in our Marriage!     (tweet)

are trees that have fallen over the trail because of different circumstances such as lightening, wind, disease or brittle with age. Whatever the reasoning, these windfalls ultimately hinder or even stop the journey. In the same manner many marriage relationships are also hindered from getting to the top of the summit because of windfalls.

Let’s take a look at some windfalls that can have severe consequences in our relationships. There can be many, but some of the most common ones are; lack of communication, strained trust for one another, life-controlling problems, unresolved Continue reading →

Don’t Shrink from what Might Stink!

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33 Tons Of Dead-Fish Collected In Rio's Olympic Rowing SiteJesus wasn’t afraid to roll up His sleeves and get into the rubbish of peoples lives. In the account of Lazarus in John 11:39-44, Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, … said to Him, “Lord, by this time there is a stench,” …And he who had died came out bound… Jesus said to them, “Loose him, and let him go.”

There are so many people that are wounded and hurt in our society. They walk throughout their day dealing with the pain and stench of their past. They have learned to push them down and act as if the wounds don’t exist, hiding them in the closet of the ugly past. Unfortunately, that is the worst plan one can do. When we ignore and

Jesus isn’t afraid to deal with our inner wounds even when they stink!     (tweet)

try to hide the pains of our past it only festers and slowly deteriorates deep within us. We become the walking wounded, even though we have been called out of our tomb we still are bound and stink repelling those around us.

David a man that had an incredible relationship with God also had his baggage that most definitely left some wounds deep within him. He went through cruel rejection from a king that sought to kill him, his family was taken by the enemy, some of his children rebelled against him and he experienced the death of several of his own children. Do I need to remind you he fell into adultery and even had a loyal soldier

Wicked Ways will Stand in the Way of your walk of righteousness   (tweet)

murdered? Without question David definitely carried some affects and scars from His journey. In Psalms 139:23-24, David pens these revealing words, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting.” He invited the “Lover of his Soul” to search him and deal with these wounds. The words “wicked way” here can be defined Continue reading →